Written by ArxhangiiliPoznyakax at 00:55 27/8-2021
The big day has come. After managing a fully Ukrainian team for a couple of season , the Archangels will now represent the Vatican and aim to join the Patriotic Union again for next season with a 100% holy sea team!
After a long phone conversation with my spiritual guide his Eminence the Guinean Cardinal Robert Sarah , the team and I have decided to take an official step away from the Orthodox Church and the Moscow Patriarchate.
From this amazing adventure , we will remember to have won two cups (Cup of the four Rivers D7 , Design av Smaland D8) and won 4 jerseys (Sanreizan D7, Fast on Wheels D5 , Race of the MinuteMen D4 , Tour of Norway D3.)
Until the end of season we will still use Ukrainian riders and Ukrainian staff and we even hope to win one more jersey or trophy !
From now on , all riders will be Traditionalist Catholics and will represent the Traditionalist views- some would say Catholic Integralist views.
The ultimate goal is to bring the team in Division 1 with a fully Integralist Catholic squad around season 70 (maximum).
An academy will be built -not far from the Sistine Chapel- where our young riders will be able to learn cycling. The training roads will fit the borders of the Pontifical States at its greatest extent , most of Central Italy plus the enclaves of Benevento and Ponte Corvo, and the french Enclave of Comtat Venaissin ( Avignon region).
In addition to their cycling trainings , the riders will have to adhere in a specific code of conduct and to a strict catechism. You can find below a non-exhaustive set of rules :
-Riders must read or have read the following authors : Joseph de Maistre, Mgr Gaume , Mgr Delassus , Edmond Burke , Charles Maurras and Antonio de Oliveira Salazar
-Riders will not be allowed to read any book prohibited by the Index Librorum Prohibitorum
-Riders must not engage in sexual intercourse or romantic affairs before to marrry with fellow Vatican female citizens.
-Riders must not profess any man-made ideology such as communism , socialism , anarchy , national-socialism etc...but must remain true to the social doctrine of Christ the King.
-Riders should never complain about physical pain after a crash or during a difficult effort to pay homage to all the martyrs who died for the Church.
-Riders should attend the daily mass , and must pray morning and evening and tell the benedicite before eating (even in the team bus)
-Riders should always be polite and friendly and full of charity for others but should not engage in doctrinal debates inside the peloton with fellow sportsmen , should it be schismatic ones (no matter their patriarchate or their calendar) , Protestants (and their 23.000 denominations) , Mohammedans , Jews , Pharisees, Sadducees , Buddhists ,Agnostics , Arianists ,Nestorianists ,Monophysitists ,Monothelitisths, Iconoclasts, Marcionists , Pantheisths ,Atheists or any other "religion" considered ,by the board and non-indifferentist priests gravitating around the team , a dangerous sect.
-Riders must be nostalgic of the (very) holy Inquisition and the (very) Holy Crusades to fit with the mentality of the management.
-Riders must not fall in the dangers of a mundane and decadent society and must reject Democracy.
-Riders must appreciate their manager just like the catholic crowds appreciated Salazar, Gabriel Garcia-Moreno ,Engelbert Dolfuss, Maurice Duplessis or Saint Louis (Louis IX).
-Team intendant and accountants will not use "Geneva Spirit" or "Calvinist manners " during the negotiations of contracts
-Medical staff should not believe in predestination and should use only medication which does not contain any immoral ingredient.
-Team staff must use latin during their daily interview to the press. They should always end the conference with "Kyrie Eleison"or "in hoc signo vinces"
-The Team also guarantees to not employ any female , and any homosexual and/or transgender staff , in order to protect the riders from any non-traditional influence.
-The only female venerated in the team will be the Very Holy Virgin Mary. There will be a zero-tolerance policy for riders accepting the fake Marian apparition of Medjugorje - riders instead must stay true to the true message of our lady of Fatima , Our lady of La Salette , and our lady of Akita and other recognized apparitions.
-Riders must not keep contact with members of their family voting for cosmopolitan leaders such as Justin Trudeau and even reject their Western Union or bank transfers.
-Riders will use only gold and silver as mean of payments and (salary) , as a silent protest against Nixon's policy ending the Bretton Woods system -and as respect for the colors of the coat of arms of the Vatican , representing both silver and gold.
-Riders must stick to the bibilical Canon edicted in the Council of Trent.
-Riders being caught listening to Evangelist songs on Youtube or Opus Dei type of guitar songs will face heavy punishments.
-The team will be under the patronage of Saint Hyacinth , early protector of the city of Kiev , as a legacy of the Ukrainian past of the team.
Extra Ecclesiam Nulla Salus !
Kyrie Eleison
In Hoc Signo Vinces
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Comments
A rollercoaster !
Ok thanks - I just want you to know that I'm open for dialogue if someone feels offended
I’m not gonna argue this further. Appreciate the humour and good luck to you.
paceuts ; thanks for the answer. Does it offend you or you think it might offend others ? Noone has complained to me so far. If it did offend you I'm sorry
For example, “ -The Team also guarantees to not employ any female , and any homosexual and/or transgender staff ” might be considered offensive by some people.
Well both you and chili aren't able to tell me what is offensive ; once i will understand I will give an answer...
Wish you best of luck with the Vatican experiment, but I do agree with Chili here.
lol this goes straight to the top10 list of best PRs ever.
well , that s the team presentation :) Once we get going the press conferences will be more about results and team development
I hardly can keep myself from posting inappropriate and offensive jokes here indeed. Good luck with your team!
hello Team Chili ,
there is a bit of humor but i am a believer myself and that s not far off from how i would run a team in real life.
I do not see what is offensive in there but you can let me know in PM
I think this is going to be difficult for the community going forward as the Church are easy to (and sometimes rightfully) ridicule.
Fedor, I hope you might consider taking down this PR.
I assume it is posted in humor but those people of faith might find offense at the stereotypes furthered in this post.
If its not posted in humor, the views portrayed in the post are offensive.
I love the enthusiasm of your role playing and the effort you have put into it but I think this one has crossed a line.
I think this is goi
Maybe it will take a bit more time indeed
Agree with BrokenChain, give yourself more time, there won‘t be enough riders being generated until the end of the season. And make sure you don‘t agree with too many transfers, you can‘t get below 9 riders.
Anyway, good luck and all the best! :-)
Until the end of season we will still use Ukrainian riders and Ukrainian staff and we even hope to win one more jersey or trophy !
are you going to start a new team? Because I doubt you will be able to recruit 9 riders from Vatican City before the end of the season, also having competition of Hogbay for the riders.
Good luck in your quest!
Cool! Nice PR.
Good luck!
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